Nothing Satisfies Me But Your Soul
by Aaelenie
Summary: Castiel gets frustrated and takes it out on Dean. Castiel/Dean. Very dark. Read at your own risk. S5 spoilers.
1. Scars Will Remain

Disclaimers: I own nothing. What a sad, sad world.

Warnings: Castiel/Dean; not-so-consensual sex; language. It IS rated M, after all.

I've never written fic based on a TV show, I was always afraid of not being able to truly capture the essence of pre-made characters so this is my first. I literally lost sleep before I finally caved and got this out.

**Nothing Satisfies Me But Your Soul**

Red. Black. Begging. Pleading. Crying. Screaming. Endless screaming. Ripping. Tearing. Screaming. More screaming. Screaming? Ringing. Ringing?

Dean wakes slowly and fumbles for his phone on the nightstand and opens it angrily. "What?" he asks.

"Where are you?" the rough voice on the other end asks in a tone that doesn't just ask, but demands.

Dean tells him and hangs up, closing his eyes hoping to get even just a few minutes more of sleep before he receives his visitor. He rolls over and realizes he should know better. Castiel was sitting on the edge of the bed. Of course he was there.

"What do you want?" Dean growls.

Castiel leans over so that he's just about nose to nose with Dean, staring into his eyes. "What did I tell you about showing me some respect?" Castiel puts his hand on Dean's arm, right over the mark he left when he pulled Dean out of Hell, as if to remind him of his threat. Dean doesn't say anything, just returns the fallen angel's stare.

"I can't find God," Castiel says dejectedly, leaning back. "I've looked so many places. And the other angels are hunting me down. It's so hard to play hide-and-seek when you're on both sides."

"What about the amulet? Isn't that supposed to tell you where he is?" Dean asks, sitting up and resting against the headboard.

"It will tell me when I am close. I have not gotten close yet."

"Why are you here?" Dean asks more gently than before.

"I am frustrated. I cannot find him and it gets harder and harder to dodge those who want me dead. I betrayed my brotherhood, killed two angels, two of my brothers, to help a human… to help you." Castiel's voice heats up, starts to turn to fire with anger and Dean just isn't sure. Sure why Castiel's here, if he's even talking to him or just venting or even sure if Castiel is going to hurt him. "I put all my faith in you, Dean, to stop the Apocalypse and you failed. I did everything to help at the cost of everything that is me and you failed." At this point Castiel's brimming with anger, bordering on rage and he's right in Dean's face now.

"I'm sorry," Dean says, trying to remain to calm because he's finally realized that the last thing he wants to do is piss of an angel who's already mad at him, especially since he's the one brought Dean back.

"'I'm sorry'? Is that all you have to say for yourself? I sacrificed everything for you, put all my faith in you when you had none in me or yourself, and you failed, and all you can do is say you're sorry?" Castiel's raised his voice a few notches, louder than Dean's ever heard so he wonders if this is Castiel yelling.

Dean doesn't know what to say. After all, what do you say when you failed to stop the Apocalypse and have an angry angel yelling at you? Because, really, there's nothing you can say, no words for what's transpired. And while he's thinking of something, anything, he can say or do, Castiel's lips crash hard into his own.

"Cas! What the fuck?!" Dean tries to push the angel off of him but only manages to pull his own head away just enough to breathe and yell at Castiel.

"You will bend," Castiel growls. "I have lost everything because of you… for you, and now you are all I have left. I will bend you, but I will not break you. You have disobeyed me too many times, but not tonight."

Before Dean can even open his mouth to speak, Castiel's lips are on his, so hard there might be bruises when he wakes up. He's too stunned to even wonder what to do; try to push him off again? Go with it? He knows one thing though, his mind and his body have two completely different ideas.

Castiel breaks away and strips Dean of his t-shirt and tosses his own trench coat on the floor. He rakes his fingernails up and down Dean's chest, hard enough to draw blood but not enough to really bleed. He wants to leave this mark on him as a reminder, just long enough so that Dean will remember this encounter as reality.

Dean doesn't know why he's not doing anything, why he's just letting Castiel do this to him. Is it because he knows he couldn't really fight him anyway? Is he under some angelic spell and doesn't realize it? Is it shock? Fear? Desire? Fear of desire? He just lays there, watching as Castiel yanks off his boxers and frees his hardened phallus.

Castiel stands up and relieves himself of the rest of his own clothing. Dean stares at him and admits to himself that Castiel is truly beautiful and finds his length hardening more than he ever thought possible. His gaze slides up his body, up to his cerulean eyes which were focused on his chest, legs, anywhere but his own eyes.

Now completely disrobed, Castiel straddles Dean's calves and leave red trails on his thighs to match the ones on his chest. Dean feels compelled to not make this a one-sided encounter and sits up. He loses his hands in Castiel's chestnut hair and grabs it, forcing him to look him in the eyes. Castiel's eyes become stormy and he pushes Dean back down on the bed so hard there's a large audible crack and it sags a little.

Dean silently admits defeat to himself, knowing a lost battle when he sees one. He thinks that if he pisses the angel off again during his ministrations it might result in his death one way or another.

Castiel rolls Dean over onto his stomach and straddles his legs. He trails his fingers down Dean's back, over his posterior and down his thighs, leaving the same marks he left on his front. Dean lets a low moan escape and Castiel doesn't know if it's pain or pleasure, but he doesn't really care anyway. When he's done, he lifts up Dean's hips, gripping them so hard he leaves hand-shaped bruises, and brings his opening to his own stiffened phallus.

Dean looks behind himself just in time to see Castiel insert two fingers into his opening. "Godammit!" he groans as he feels the angel's fingers slide in and out a few times. He faces forward again and closes his eyes, mentally bracing himself for what's about to come.

Castiel removes his fingers and replaces them with his hardness. Starting off slow he just pushes the tip in and leaves it there for several moments before sliding the rest of his length into Dean. He tightens his grip on his hips as he slams into Dean over and over.

"FUCK!!" Dean cries out in three parts pain, ecstasy, and frustration. His own desire was being left unattended and it was just as intense as everything else he was feeling at this moment.

A jerk, a shake, a shudder. A thin line of blood trickles down the back of Dean's thigh as Castiel empties himself inside the mortal, leaving a searing white pain inside him. He lays down on top of Dean momentarily, spent. Dean's laying back on his stomach, physical and emotional feelings running through him, leaving him just as spent.

Dean feels Castiel slide out of him and rolls over to say something to him, but he's gone. All that's left is his painful erection screaming for attention, and a lone dark grey feather resting beside him on the bed.

**A/N: The title comes from the song "O Death," I thought it was perfect.**


	2. I Will Not Bow

Confusion. Lust. Fear. Anger. Desire. Betrayal. Sin. Blasphemy.

Dean didn't want to stay in that motel a second more after being touched by an angel, but he was on a job and he never left a job unfinished. He had finished it up quickly and gotten the Hell out of dodge.

It's been two days since Castiel had his way with him and he still has no idea what to think. He was angry. No one took advantage of him, no one, he didn't care that Castiel was an angel, that he was the one who brought him back. It was seriously not cool. And he was angry at himself for letting it happen, for not trying harder, for not trying to talk him out of it, even if he did have a point.

The worst part of it was the confusion. He _had let it happen and he didn't know why. No, he just didn't want to admit why. It was something he had discovered a long time ago and buried it deep, deep within his heart. And now it was on the surface, refusing to be buried again. He wanted the angel. He lusted after the angel and that was bad enough. He was sure if he even told anyone that he would receive a one-way ticket back to Hell._

_Dean felt betrayed. First, Sam had left him after destroying their trust. Then Castiel, the one person left in this world that he could trust, had violated him. And during those violations his body betrayed him, expressing those deeply buried feelings. Maybe he could have come to terms with those feelings in time, maybe even express them to the angel, but now he was forced to deal with them, and Cas knew now. Maybe that was the whole point. Maybe Cas wanted to intrude upon his mind more than his body._

_Dean had an itch on his chest, it drove him crazy but he didn't dare scratch it. Touching Castiel's marks made him see everything in his head. He didn't want to relive it, not like that. His cell phone rings and he's glad for the distraction until he hears the voice coming through the speaker._

"_Where are you?"_

"_You know, a 'hello' goes a long way," Dean growls. Silence. "What the fuck do you want anyway?"_

"_I want to talk to you, Dean," Castiel replies, void of any emotion._

"_I'm driving. What makes you think I'll tell you where I am anyway?"_

"_Because you do not want me to have to look for you," Castiel warns._

"_Yeah? You won't kill me, and you already had your way with me so there isn't really anything you can scare me with."_

_Dean's pretty sure that there's not much of anything that Castiel will do to him, but there's something in his voice that makes Dean not want to find out. "I'm driving on I-95, near New Haven."_

"_I cannot find you there," Castiel's voice becomes emotionless again. "Get to a motel soon and I will call you later."_

_Dean sighs as he hears the other phone click off. He feels like the angel's bitch all over again and he wasn't even anywhere near him. He takes the next exit with a motel. He checks in to the first motel he comes across and puts his belongings in his room. _

_Dean leaves the motel room and searches for a good vantage point in which he can hide. He waits for the phone to ring and after 45 minutes it finally does._

"_Hello, Dean. Where are you?"_

_Dean gives him the motel name and room number, and waits. He only has to wait a couple seconds before he sees Castiel standing in his room. He runs from his spot in a corner of the parking lot to the end of the building which is several rooms down from his own. He peers around the corner and sees Castiel step out of the room looking for him. Dean silently stalks him as Cas turns and walks away from him, looking for him. He's not too far from his room when he takes the angel from behind, wrapping his left arm around his neck._

"_Hello, Cas," Dean sneers in the angel's ear and pushes him back into the motel room, kicking the door closed with his foot. He grabs the angel by the chin and lifts it up, pulling the demon knife out of his waistband and holding it to the side of Castiel's neck._

"_Dean, what are you doing?" Castiel asks calmly._

"_Just shut up," Dean snarls, pressing the knife harder against his neck._

"_Dean, you know you can't hurt me."_

"_Not physically, no," he replies as he slices into Castiel's neck. The angel's wings shoot out in response, getting ready to defend if need be, expanding out to the sides, leaving Dean standing between them. Dean's unphased and licks the blood off the knife, meeting Castiel's piercing blue eyes in the mirror hanging off the wall. He tosses the knife onto the bed and grabs him by his wings, pulling him backward, and licks the wound he just inflicted._

_Castiel gasps and Dean's not sure if it's from licking his blood or grabbing his wings but he plans on finding out. He pushes the angel onto the bed who lands on his stomach. Dean rips off Castiel's trench coat and suit jacket, which are already torn from his wings, and straddles his thighs, pinning him. Dean removes his own jacket and t-shirt, admiring the situation for a moment._

_Dean grabs Castiel's wings hard and feels him jerk in response. He thinks he hears a muffled moan escape the angel's lips but he's not sure. He leans down on top of Cas, tightening his grip on his wings and this time he's sure of what he heard… the angel moaned and was breathing quite heavily. He pulls on them in a downward motion and whispers in Castiel's ear. "You like that, don't you?"_

"… _Dean."_

"_What was that?"_

"_Yes, Dean."_

"_Well this isn't about what you like," Dean spits out the words and releases the angel's wings. He sits up, grabs the demon knife from its resting spot on the bed and uses it to open the back of Castiel's shirt. He drops the knife and grabs Castiel's hair with both hands, pulling him up to slump against him. Dean reaches around, grabbing his tie and pulling it over his head. Then he rips off the ruined dress shirt and throws it on the floor. He rests his head on the angel's shoulder and brings his other hand around front to undo his belt and pants, the entire time rubbing against his wings, making them twitch and the angel moan and gasp. When he was finished with his pants, he pushed Castiel back down onto the bed._

_Dean stands up and pulls off Castiel's pants over his shoes and onto the floor. A little voice in the back of his mind asks him why this is too easy, he tells it to shut up and ignores it. He unzips his own pants and slides them down to his ankles not bothering to remove them completely. He kneels on the bed behind Castiel and pulls him up by his hips, noticing just how hard the angel's become._

_Dean grabs Castiel's wings and leans over him. "Funny thing about the human body, Cas, it betrays your innermost secrets and makes you vulnerable." Dean gives the wings one good yank and Castiel's breath hitches as he gasps. Dean picks up the knife, still stained with some of the angel's blood, and slices it between Cas's wings, along his spine. He discards the knife and dips his finger in the blood, bringing it to Castiel's lips. "Lick it," Dean demands. "Taste your shame." Castiel obeys and that little voice in Dean's head speaks up again, asking the same question. He tells it to shut up and pauses just a second before banishing it to the recesses of his mind._

_Dean pulls his finger from Castiel's mouth whom he swears tries to hang onto it for just a little longer. He dips two fingers into Castiel's blood and brings them to his own mouth, licking them and making them wet. He slides the same two fingers into the angel's opening, preparing the angel for his vengeance. Dean removes his fingers, smears his entire hand in the blood, and uses it to slick up his hardened phallus. He grabs the angel's hips as hard as he can, leaving a bloody handprint as he enters the angel, whose body tenses then relaxes after a couple slow thrusts._

_Castiel closes his eyes, his wings flapping lazily with each violent thrust. He knows he deserves this, knows this is his punishment, but for what exactly? Was this God's way of punishing him for his disobedience? Was it really as simple as Dean exacting his own revenge? Was punishment supposed to feel this good? Or maybe that was the point. Maybe someone wanted to see just how far he would fall. And with Dean's length filling him up inside, he was afraid that it might be pretty far._

_Dean finishes with a final, single thrust, listening to that voice telling him that Cas let him do this, that Cas wanted this and that's why he didn't fight him off. He slumps down on top of the angel, gravity pulling them down to the bed._

"_Dean," Castiel pleads, his husky voice heavy with lust. "Please."_

"_Blue balls are a bitch, Cas." Dean smirks, slides out of the angel and stands up, pulling his pants back up. He returns his gaze to the bed and finds it empty, save for a couple black feathers and the demon knife._


End file.
